We’ve all heard of second child syndrome. But have you ever wondered if people really do treat their babies differently? If you only have one child you probably can’t imagine having a second baby and NOT making a 300 page scrapbook about his first week of life.
In case there was any confusion I’ll tell you right off the bat that second child syndrome is a real thing. I know this because is alive and well and living quite comfortably in my home. If there were to be a public service announcement about the issue Grant could be the poster child. In fact, I think he might be the one to organize the campaign.
So in honor of my blatantly unfair treatment of my children today we have the top ten ways to tell if you are a second child:
10. If you were born after the first child. You’re probably the second child.
9. You’ve never seen clothes with tags on them.
8. All of the toys in your house have already been broken. And are out of batteries. But it’s ok, actually, cause they all belong to your brother anyway. Everything is his. You own nothing.
7. “Your” toys look like this:
6. You will never know what happens at the end of Green Eggs and Ham because the last few pages of the book have been ripped out. Does he ever eat the damn eggs? Or does he punch Sam-I-Am square in the face for being annoying and pushy?
Also, you’d give anything to know what this guy’s head looked like…
4. Your brother crawled at 9 months, 24 days, 13 hours, 7 minutes and 54 second. You…crawled. That’s all you really need to know right?
3. Related to # 4, the first born’s baby book looks like this:
Your baby book looks like this:
2. Your parents are surprised to find out you know things. (Who taught that kid colors? Certainly wasn’t me. TV? Maybe. Well the important thing is he knows them. Nice work.)
1. The number one way to tell if you are the second child…