Friday, January 4, 2013

Top Ten Ways Marriage Has Changed

I felt it was time for another top ten. 

This installment in the series covers the top ten ways having a child changes your marriage.  My husband and I used to discuss everything from pop culture to politics, go out to eat, meet-up with friends…etc. etc.  We still do most of those things only things have changed slightly…

So here we go.  Top ten examples of how interacting with your spouse is just a little different after kids:
1.  We still want to impress each other.
Before: "I put on my sexy little black dress just for you."
After: "I put on my 'dressy' yoga pants just for you."
 
2. We still have deep, meaningful conversations.
Before: "Do you think Congress will pass that sustainable energy bill?"
After: "Do you think Mickey and Minnie are dating, or, like, just friends?"
 
3.  We're still night owls.
Before: "I want to go to the midnight showing of that new movie."
After: "I want YOU to do the midnight feeding of that new baby."
 
4.  We still hang out with friends.
Before: "The Smiths want to meet us in Boston for dinner at 9."
After: "The Smiths want us to come over for pizza in their living room at 4:30."
 
5. We still enjoy each other's company.
Before: "Want to go out for dinner then grab a nightcap at that new lounge in town?"
After: "Wanna order Chinese and fall asleep on the couch watching shows on the DVR?"
 
6.  We still enjoy eating out.
Before: "We're eating at this nice restaurant because Epicurious recommended it."
After: "We're eating at this nice restaurant because someone gave us a gift certificate."
 
7.  We still remember the important dates in our relationship.
Before: "Let's buy expensive champagne to celebrate our anniversary."
After: "Let's stay up past 10 to celebrate our anniversary."
 
8.  We still try to keep the romance alive.
Before: "I'm not wearing any underwear because I wanted to be sexy for you."
After: "Shit! I'm not wearing any underwear because I totally forgot to put them on."
 
9.  We still notice the little details.
Before: "Honey, your  hair looks beautiful tonight."
After: "Honey...you have peanut butter in your hair."
 
10.  We still like to gossip.
Before:  "Did you hear about my friend's botched boob job?"
After:  "Did you hear about my friend's botched episiotomy?"



7 comments:

  1. Sister, you're REALLY funny! I love reading along...just so ya know ;)

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  2. Hysterical. I just read this out loud to my husband and in response to #3 and #7 he said, "well you almost made it to midnight on New Year's."

    Marriage is certainly different post-kids, but sometimes different is also better.

    Thanks for sharing!
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