Monday, October 25, 2010

Things Carter Says in Public

So, you're out in a store. You're minding your own business. A woman with a kid in a shopping cart passes by you and out of the blue the kid says something completely inappropriate. And the mother looks mortified but you laugh cause, hey, its not your kid!

Yeah, that's cause it's my kid.

And I'm hoping that when he says these things the people who hear it choose to be amused by Carter and do not choose to, say, call child protective services.

For example...we're out at gymnastics class and Carter is bouncing happily on the trampoline. He's just singing and laughing and generally enjoying life. I'm having a moment where I just love him...uh huh...

From out of nowhere he says "If you hit the dogs..."

At this point I think he's going to say "If you hit the dogs, you'll go in time out". Something like that. So I'm alright with encouraging him to finish his sentence.

"What happens if you hit the dogs, Carter?"

"Mama will let them bite you...and it will hurt."

The mother next to me looks over so I smile and laugh. Thankfully, so does she.

She shakes her head and gives me the good old "Where do they get these things!"

Ha...ha...yeah its funny. Except I know exactly where he gets these things because I did actually say that to him...probably more than once. Alright, definitely more than once.

Then there are the times when he says something embarrassing and just won't stop.

We were at Babies R Us and the cashier said hello to Carter.

Carter looked at her for a second and then said...."That's Uncle Donny".

OK, now Uncle Donny is a 6'2", rather large man. And in Carter's defense, this lady actually did bear a striking resemblance to him. Poor thing.

Sometimes you know what your kid is saying but no one else does. Unfortunately for me Carter has very clear speech. I highly doubt the woman couldn't make out the words "Uncle" and "Donny". Especially because he repeated it several times...

"Hi Uncle Donny...What Uncle Donny doing?...Thank you, Uncle Donny!"

I need to find out when she works and not shop there at those times because I don't think I want to run into her again any time soon...and I'm sure she feels the same way.  
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  1. omg i love this. lol
    the other day at the library a little girl who was probably 5 said to me, so loud and proud, "my dad farts a lot at home, but not in the library". her dad was like, "ohh....noo....."

  2. Oh kids do say the just the right thing at just the right when I told my nephew he couldn't have any juice until he ate his food and he shot me the most hateful glare a four year old could muster and shouted "toopid dishrag".......I'm sure he didn't pick that up from me.....I use the dishwasher!

  3. As usual, you are hilarious! Keep up the good work.