Our Neighbors

The people in our neighborhood are all at different stages of life. Its actually kind of interesting to compare our situation to theirs. Ya know, think about where we're going, where we've been. That sort of thing. So here is a glimpse into the lives of the families that surround us...

There's us of course. The young, cute, hip totally put together couple with the two ADORABLE little kids.

What?

Anyway, we have our next door neighbors to the right.  They have kids a little older than ours so they can basically relate to us. I hear them yelling sometimes too.

In fact, when I hear their kids throwing a temper tantrum my first though is "Good! Thank God other people's offspring do that." My second though it is "Damn. They still do that when they're eight?"

Then there's the older couple across the street. They're grandparents so they've been there and done that. They like to hear stories about what the boys are doing. They send over little gifts for the kids and get a kick out of everything they do at this stage. We love them.

Finally, we have our other next door neighbors. The newlywed couple. The young romantics not tied down by children. The couple who holds hands as they go for a leisurely evening stroll. Ah...remember those days?

 Me neither.

I cannot imagine what they must think of us.

First of all, they put us to shame with the amount of upkeep they do to their house.

Yes, it must be SO nice that you can both take four hours on a Saturday afternoon to paint the railings on your porch together. I remember having that kind of free time.

Or isn't it adorable that you two put all that work into your lawn and garden. "I'll mow, honey. You can prune the hedges. And after that we'll go have a candle lit dinner, stare into each others eyes and talk about how valuable and fulfilling our relationships is!"

Lovely, just lovely. Our conversations about yard work go something like this...

"Jesus Christ! You haven't mowed the lawn in three friggin weeks! It looks like the Amazon Rain Forest out there. Do it while the kids are napping cause right when you're done we gotta go food shopping and then do those returns at Target..."

I bet it drives them crazy when our unraked leaves blow onto their perfectly manicured property. Is it wrong that I get a small amount of satisfaction from that?

Sometimes I really do wonder what I sound like to them as I'm yelling at...I mean reasoning with... my kids.

"I don't know WHY you would think it was a good idea to pull the wheels off of your fire truck and EAT them, but let me tell you, IT WASN'T!"..."GET OFF THAT NOW!"..."Do NOT push him again!"..."I can't take this today Carter! I CAN'T!"

Living next door to us is the best birth control life has to offer.

I also get really jealous when I see them leave their house to go somewhere and they aren't carrying anything...or anyone for that matter.

Then they see us leaving the house lugging fifteen bags...and we still make three trips back from the car for the inevitably forgotten items.

I think if they ever saw me leave the house, get in the car and just drive away they wouldn't know what to make of it. They would probably call the police, thinking I'd been high jacked or something.

I wish children on them daily...

UPDATE:

So they finally had a kid.  We didn't know she was pregnant until a month before she delivered because she never left the house.  I thought maybe them having offspring would make them less weird and introverted...I was mistaken.

One afternoon we were playing in the yard when we stopped to talk to them (a very rare occurrence since they usually get out of their car and BOLT into the house.)

We were chatting and Carter was in the background screaming about something.  I gave my best sarcastic eye roll and said "Three is a fun age! I bet you guys hear him screaming all the time!"

Things I expected them to say: "Oh no, not at all!" or "Hahaha! He's a kid, that's what they do right?"

Things they said: "Yes.  Yes we do." With the most serious faces I'd ever seen. 

Oh, well, in that case I hope your child is born with horns.  I can't wait to call in a noise complaint the first time I hear him cry. 

We were thrilled when we saw the "For Sale" sign in their yard.  Even more thrilled when we saw the "Sold" sign go up. They packed up their stuff yesterday and just drove away.  Didn't even give us a second thought.  What?  No hug goodbye? I'm shocked.  SEE YA! 

New neighbors move in today...blog to follow I"m sure!