Monday, May 7, 2012

Cupcake Wars


“When did it become a requirement to bring cupcakes AND goodie bags to school for birthdays? Moms- let's stop trying to out-do each other!”

This was a fellow mom’s FB status earlier this week.

We had just picked our kids up from preschool and had been greeted with yet another goodie bag that someone had brought in to celebrate their child’s birthday.

It was the most beautiful goodie bag, all wrapped up and tied with a cute little ribbon.  It had tons of toys, candy, games, tattoos etc. inside. 

We were informed by the children that there had also been cupcakes.  This is about the 10th birthday celebration that had taken place at school this year, each one more elaborate than the next. 

Now, I thought that having a summer baby would make me exempt from having to do any of this shit for my kid.  But lo and behold…the teacher has put out a summer birthday celebration schedule.  We’re all supposed to pick a day towards the end of the year and let our kids have their birthday at school.  Damn it. 

I was in the middle of thinking about what day I should pick when I read my friend’s status.  I immediately thought...well, don’t worry, you will have absolutely NO competition from me!

I strive for mediocrity and I think I do a really decent job achieving my goal.  When it comes to competing with other moms over party planning I throw in the towel right away.  Here’s me waving my white flag.  Come collect your congratulatory handshake…you win!

I will give you one million imaginary dollars if my son ever walks up to me in the future and says:

“Remember that awesome birthday party that what’s-his-name’s mom threw at school when I was three?”
Who are we trying to impress here? It's not the kids.  You could give the kids a hair covered lollipop from last Halloween and they would be thrilled to have it! (Note to self: see if I have enough old lollipops to cover the whole class...)

Celebrating at school is cute, but goodie bags are optional…and by optional I mean to say if you have expendable time and income then go nuts.  But don’t expect your kid to come home with one from my son because I have neither of those things.

I don’t even bake.  So store bought cupcakes are what I’ll be offering up to celebrate Carter being 3 years and 9 months old. 

Or I think I’m actually going to partner with a friend of mine whose son’s birthday is the day before Carter’s.  She bakes.  She can make the cupcakes and I’ll stand at the door at the end of class and give all the kids a high five on their way out.  That should cover the goodie bag portion of our show.

So there you have it fellow moms, bring on your handmade valentines and your most elaborate  birthday celebrations.  Feel free to outdo me.  It won’t be hard.  In fact, I think the challenge here would be to do LESS than me. 

Carter’s real party will be in the summer.  With cake, goodie bags, balloons and kegs. 

All the essentials. 

25 comments:

  1. I'm not sure about the hair-covered lollipop, but other than that...right on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alright FINE! They can be hairless lollipops... =)

      Delete
  2. Umm, yes! Thank you! Listen, my kids are lucky they even GET a party for their birthday (also summer babies). And while I will remember to make goodie bags that does NOT mean I will remember to hand them out (for three years running).

    I feel no desire to out-do other moms. I'm ok with being shown up. Can I get in line behind you for the high-five thing? I'd be good at that!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I usually end up throwing out goodie bags anyway because it's just more clutter in my hosue! Fellow moms, I'm doing you a favor by not adding another bouncy ball that will just break shit to your home. You're welcome!

      Delete
  3. That was good. I was nodding like a bobble head. Around here in the public schools they have pretty much done away with all the birthday party hoopla. We bring cupcakes or something at their lunch or recess and that's it. I like it. I like it a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I would like that as well. The goodie bags are crazy!

      Delete
  4. I definitely don't remember having this birthday craziness when I was in school! We brought in cupcakes, shared them, and that was pretty much it. On with the day. I didn't know there was so much competition now. Something to look forward to, eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, there is competition for everything now. But not from me! =)

      Delete
  5. Our school has a policy that all food items sent in must be store bought which fortunately for my daughter means everyone brings in the same Walmart decorated cupcakes, not just her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's an amazing policy. I'm going to try to implement that for our school!

      Delete
    2. We also have to do store bought. Relief! And Mayor Gia is a genius because the kids go nuts for donuts. But you might rock it because of the novelty. Might go against your standards. ;) Ellen

      Delete
  6. We used to bring munchkins. That was best.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AMEN!! I'm right there with ya'. I never felt the pressure and always used the excuse that I was a working mother while bringing my kid some lame store bought cupcakes for his birthday. But, I would be sure to pump up the Super Moms with the ol' "YOU GO GIRL"!!! They just need some praise and ego stroking to get their rocks off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll be sure to tell them how amazing they are while I'm blogging and going online instead of baking cupcakes like a real mom... =)

      Delete
  8. Hair-covered lollipops--that's AWESOME! I totally agree with you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! My boys would totally eat that...unfortunately.

      Delete
  9. Yeah - I have long since stopped caring about the perfect moms. The hairy lollipop caught me off guard and made me laugh. (I'm from Hanging out.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome! That's for reading...this is my second week Hanging Out and I love it =)

      Delete
  10. My daughter will be six in a few weeks and since she is my fifth, I have come to hate birthday parties....Sigh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FIFTH! You've earned the right to hate anything you want!

      Delete
  11. This is another reason I'm happy that we are going to homeschool. I don't care for the school parties and all the junk that my kid gets.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, the Mommy Wars are real, my friend. Make no mistake about it. Glad you aren't going down without a fight, Erin

    ReplyDelete
  13. Great post! Completely agree. It's all about the competition for the parents. The unfortunate part is that it can later on extend to the kiddies which is worse!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I can certainly understand what you mean here. It is amazing how many parents get "competitive" on silly things like that. Especially when the child won't remember in five months, much less five years, what you went through the effort and expense to provide.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Well said!
    I think everyone else has covered my thoughts, but I just wanted to chime in and say that I am with you!

    ReplyDelete