Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Purple vs. Yellow (My Abercrombie Rant)

A purple person walks into a store:

“Hi, my friend has these amazing pair of jeans and she said she got them here.  But I don’t see the purple person section.  Could you help me?”

“You don’t see a purple person section because we don’t sell clothes for purple people.”

“Oh, that’s weird.  Ok.  Well…can I ask why not?”

“Isn’t it obvious?  Purple people are not cool.  Only yellow people are cool.”

“Says who?”

“Everyone. Only yellow people can be popular and have friends.”

“Well I’m clearly purple and I’m actually very popular at my school.  I have lots of friends…I have a lot of yellow friends too.”

“That can’t be.  Look around you.  See all the pictures of yellow people having fun and being beautiful?  Clearly they are the cool, popular kids.  You are way too purple to be cool.”

“Well I’m a nice person, a good friend.  I have a great sense of humor and I love to do all the fun, cool things that the yellow kids do.”

“I can’t believe yellow people hang out with you.  Don’t worry, soon all the yellow kids will get the message that they should only be hanging out with other yellow kids.  We’ll make sure of that.  Then the purple kids can go back to hating themselves and feeling badly about the way they look.”

“I don’t think you’re very nice.”

“I don’t care.  Just look how yellow I am…how beautiful I am.  You should try doing something about how purple you are.  There are ways you can try to be more yellow, you know.”

“It would take something really drastic to make me more yellow.  It might be dangerous and unsafe.”

“So?  You’d be yellow at the end of it.  That’s the goal right?”

Ok, do you get the picture yet?  This post is clearly about the gigantic dickhead CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch.  He’s been quoted as saying things such as:

“That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that,”


 “In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids,” he told the site. “Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely."

Ok, so you don’t want to sell above a size 10 in women’s clothes.  Fine.  It’s your business, do what you want.  There are plenty of specialty stores out that that cater to a certain clientele.  And that’s not wrong.  That’s not what I take issue with.

I take issue with the reasoning.  The idea that a young girl cannot possibly be cool, popular and attractive if they wear a larger size. 

Being beautiful has NOTHING TO DO WITH SIZE!

I can’t shop in the tall section of any store.  But that’s because I’m not tall, not because I’m not cool.

This guy’s quotes make me angry.  They make me incensed.  They make me want to throw something…preferably at his face.  Who the hell are you to tell society what is beautiful and cool?  Who the hell are you to look at a teenage girl who is already desperate to fit in and tell her that she can’t, she simply CAN NOT, because she wears a size 12. 

What about the athletic girl who has muscles and an actual shape to her body? (Holla to all my fellow ex gymnasts who rock the strong quads and broad shoulders!) If you’re anything other than a stick figure you have no place in society?  This is the message we’re sending our children?

And it’s not just girls…guys are affected by the idea that they have to ultra-muscular and fit to be attractive.  I don’t want  boys obsessed with bulking up any more than I want girls obsessed with being thin.

Your natural body shape and size is out of your control.  What IS in your control is how you treat your body.  Be healthy, young people.  There are some natural size 16s who eat well, exercise and take care of their bodies…and will never be any smaller due to genetics.  There are also some natural size zeros who will always be thin.  And that’s great.  Rock your body!

Take the emphasis off looks and put it where it belongs…on being healthy and happy in the skin you’re in.

You, Mr. Asshole Fuck Face CEO, are what’s wrong with this country.  You are gross.  You are a predator…you are preying on the weaknesses and insecurities of an already unbelievably emotionally fragile population. 

We as a society cannot stand for this.  We as parents can tell our children how gorgeous they are, how beautiful of a person they are, till we are blue in the face.  But it only takes one store, one ad in a magazine, one TV program, to show them otherwise.  Are we stronger than people like Mike Jeffries?  Can we stand up to him and say enough is enough?  I hope so.  I truly hope so.


  1. Well said.

    I will gladly throw things at his face with you, you know, if you need back up and stuff.

    1. I will always need your backup! And we can never have too many people throwing things at this man.

  2. Good job, Danielle! I salute you, support you and thank you for your message. I hope it goes viral. It should.

    1. Thank you! I hope it goes viral too...we can't let guys like this run the show anymore!

  3. Have you seen a pic of the CEO? I saw a picture of him and that helped take the sting out of what he said :D

    1. Yeah he's no prize...was probably purple in HS hence all the hate =)

  4. Hey, the market will give A&F's CEO what he deserves. He's already told the market that he's only interested in a small percentage of it, and even those people have a lot of other choices. So, he'll be cool and out of business. Except, he won't even be cool...

    Great post.

    1. Thank you! I really wish I shopped there so I could stop shopping there...

  5. One thing I'm never throwing at him is my hard earned money! First victoria secret with the pre-teen panty line (punny, yea) and now dick CEO (have you seen HIS picture?). As if there aren't enough reasons for my son to think he's less than awesome.... Sigh

    1. I know, it's getting worse everyday...hope kids can see through this bullshit!

  6. WOW! I did not hear about this. Thank you for bringing my attention to it... and good for you to take action.

    Standing behind you 200%

    1. Thanks! I hope a lot of people read it and are aware of the situation!

  7. Well said. I personally don't like him either. Some of his quotes make him come across as a child sex offender.