Friday, May 10, 2013

Dear Mom: Sorry

It's Mother's Day Weekend!

What a perfect time for my family to show how much they appreciate me for putting up with all the crap they put me through on a daily basis.  Come to think of it, it might not be such a bad idea if they could apologize for a few of those things while they're at it. 

That's what they should get me as a gift. A card that simply says "Dear Mom, Sorry for..."

 Here's a list of things they could start with:

1. Sorry for telling my teachers you don't feed me lunch.

2. Sorry for being bad at finger painting.

3. Sorry I've probably permanently damaged your liver.

4. Sorry I made a list of people I love and you weren't on it...but fire trucks were.

5. Sorry I think you look like this...

6.  Sorry I ever ACTUALLY made you look like this...

7. Sorry I sometimes don't like wearing shirts...

Or pants...

8. Sorry I told the car salesman that the cup holders in the new car would be perfect for your wine.

9. Sorry I made you go see The Wiggles live in concert.

10. Sorry I totally F'd up your boobs.

So it's just a short list but it's a start.  I'm sure there are lots and lots of other things I could add but if I got a card like this my response would probably be:

"Aw! That's so nice!  Thank you for apologizing, kids.  And in return...I'm sorry I use your plates to salt my margarita glasses."

1 comment:

  1. How about that! A spam comment that actually made perfect sense! You did make some very valid points and the rest of your site IS extremely good! Good job McSpammy!

    I do think your idea is excellent! I think I would add: I apologize for...making you pee your pants every time you sneeze, never ever going to sleep when I should, and telling every new person I meet that you and daddy are separated. (The last one is my fav)