Lent

What's with Lent?

You're supposed to sacrifice because Jesus got tortured, nailed to a cross and suffered for days.

Yeah, that's equivalent to you giving up a cheeseburger once a week. Same thing.

And why do kids get to make out like bandits during this whole thing?

"Um, kids? In order to practice our religion and teach you the ways of the Lord, we have to FORCE you to eat pizza once a week for a month. Sorry 'bout that. Rules are rules!"

Don't get me wrong, I'm Catholic. But I belong to a special branch of the Catholic Church called "C&E Catholics"...which stands for Christmas and Easter...which are the times I go to mass. Basically I observe the holidays where you get something in return. No one has ever given me anything for All Saints Day.

Then there is the question of what to give up for Lent. I already go to the gym, I don't smoke, we don't go out to eat a lot....

I would give up coffee, chocolate or alcohol...but then I'd also have to give up all human contact cause I'd be f'ing miserable to be around.

I tried to give up Carter, but it's supposed to be something that would be a hardship to go without. So there goes that.

I'm going to hell. But we already knew that.