Friday, April 1, 2011

All By Myself!

Carter is officially in the I'm-a-big-boy-I-can-do-it-myself phase.

Now, I probably should be feeling proud because I'm raising a capable, independent child. Or at least nostalgic because my little boy is growing up. But mostly I'm just feeling extremely annoyed.

There really aren't enough hours in the day as it is. With this new development our chances of arriving anywhere on time have gone from slim to completely impossible.

Getting him dressed is the biggest pain in the ass. Well, I take that back, not every aspect is terrible. You want to put your own pants on? Fine. I'll ignore the fact that one butt cheek is hanging out and praise your efforts. You put your arm through the head hole of your shirt? Ok by me, easy fix. But sock? SOCKS?? I HATE SOCKS!

Watching him try to put on his own socks is excruciating. Watching anyone try to do something that you know you can do better is torture, pure and simple.

He can't grasp the concept that ALL of his toes must be in the sock before he tries to pull it up. And even if he could, he can't hold the sock open long enough for this to occur. Most times he'll get the big toe in and yank. Or he'll get all toes in, aaaaaalmost get it on and then lose it at the heel. It's like watching someone trying to build a house of cards.

"Nice and steady. Easy now. One last got it....AW MAN!"

And of course I have no patience for teaching him.

When I first got pregnant a good friend of mine said "Well, you know some day you'll have to teach him how to do things, like, tie his shoes." At the time I thought, geez, is that really a reason not to have kids? But now? I mean, I consider it a definite deterrent.

Velcro city until he's 21.

"Here, Carter. Here's some money....go buy a six pack and some lace up shoes. You've earned it, son. You're getting so grown up!"

Walking down any set of stairs is a real treat as well.

I'll try to get him down as many as I can without him noticing that I'm helping. But eventually he'll drop the "I want to do it all by MYSELF!" So off he'll go.

Hey, Carter? I hope you celebrated your birthday on the fourth or fifth step down cause I'm pretty sure it took you so long to descend the staircase that you're now three. I know I feel older.

Puzzles are also bad. "Can't you just turn that piece a quarter inch to the right? Stop trying to just jam things in where they don't fit! What are you, two???"

Good to know that you are capable of doing things by yourself. You proved that. Do you really have to prove it over and over?

I think teaching these skills is going to be a Daddy job.

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