Thursday, February 6, 2014
I Don't Care! I Vacuumed!
Legos are taking over my house.
No, like, in all seriousness I'm going to have to build an addition onto my home in order to house all of our Legos. Actually, I could build it out of Legos, put Legos inside it and still have enough Legos left over to build an f'ing life sized fire truck.
In other words, we have a lot of Legos.
This morning I needed to vacuum the playroom. But this task is impossible to do without causing some Lego casualties. There's always the one that blends into the rug that you miss...stupid bastard! My kids know exactly what sound a Lego being sucked into the vacuum makes. And they going absolutely insane when they hear it.
Today, however, they were both at school. So here's a question for you: If you suck a Lego up into your vacuum and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?
Regardless, as I was picking up stupid little pieces of overpriced plastic I composed a little ditty to express my feelings about it.
It's to the tune of "I Love It (I Don't Care)" by Icona Pop.
I Vacuumed (I Don't Care) by Things Carter Says:
I vacuumed Legos off the playroom floor while you were gone.
You left for school that was my chance, I knew I had to run.
I got the vacuum out and started sucking up your things.
I think you needed that one piece...
But I don't care! I vacuumed! I don't care!
I'm sick of seeing those things every single place I look.
I stepped on one, it really hurt! I nearly broke my foot.
You need to find a better place for them next time you play.
Or I will throw them all away...
I don't care! I vacuumed! I don't care!
You left your Legos out. I sucked them off the floor.
I know you're gonna scream and ask me to buy more.
But that's just too damn bad, next time pick up your shit!
I know you hate me now, your mom is such a bitch!
(Now imagine me dancing around with a vacuum and singing this...there I go using the attachments as a microphone...)
Hope you enjoyed it. And feel free to sing it the next time you ruin your kid's lives by messing with their toys!