I love the holidays.
Actually, let me clarify that. I love the IDEA of the holidays. I always picture a roaring fireplace making the house all cozy, my husband and I sipping eggnog while trimming the tree and the kids watching a classic Christmas movie in the background.
In reality we don’t even have a fireplace so I’m not sure how this blissful scene came to be stuck in my head. Ok, well, take out the fireplace and it can still happen right? Let me try…
We got our tree right after Thanksgiving and I was so excited to get it home and decorate it. This is when the season truly starts, the beginning of all of our 2011 Christmas memory making! Mike set up the stand and I sat the kids down to watch a movie.
“Do you want to watch Rudolph? Or the Grinch? Or Frosty?”
“We want to watch Mickey.”
Oh, alright! I have Mickey’s Christmas Carol! Oh. No? You want the one where he goes fishing? But that’s not a holiday classic. How ‘bout the Christmas one?
At this point I have two kids throwing themselves on the ground, screaming and crying about that stupid mouse going fishing. Well, this evening is not starting off very merry at all. I should do something to appease the children so they can be happy during this process…so, I put in Mickey’s Christmas Carol.
Mike then started setting up the tree. It didn’t fit in the base so he had to take it outside and trim down the stump…three times. His feelings about that were “R” rated so I’m not going to share them.
Crying children, swearing husband. Excellent. Well, let’s start the trimming and go from there.
“That garland is uneven…you have to move the bottom strand up one.”
“It’s fine. You wanna do it yourself then?”
“No. And it’s not fine. Just friggin move it!”
“F you!”
“F you!”
“Mooooooom!!! I HATE MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS!!”
This is a holly jolly experience for one and all! At least I can still have that eggnog…with a little more rum that I had originally planned.
Cut to the next morning because we were all too tired and cranky to finish the decorating that night.
It’s time to put on the ornaments. This is my favorite part because you can relive all of your memories together as a family. I just knew we were going to really enjoy this moment! Off we went…
We had Carter, who put fifteen ornaments on one branch. And then Grant, who just chucked his ornaments at the tree and then was pissed when they didn’t stay there. And of course my darling husband, who purposely dug out and hung up all the ornaments he knows I don’t like.
I eventually kicked everyone out and sat there drinking my coffee and decorating alone. At least it was peaceful and I could throw in a Christmas movie to watch while I worked. I put on Rudolph.
“NO! We want Thomas!”
FUCK THIS!
The house can decorate itself this year...now, where did I put that bottle of rum...
You, my friend, tell it like it is. Same kind of stuff went down in my house
ReplyDeleteYou know me...never have to think "Hey, I wonder what Danielle is thinking???" =)
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