Thursday, June 26, 2014

Said No Mom Ever...


Yesterday was the last day of school so now everyone around here is officially on summer vacation.  When you’re a kid summer vacation is, like, the highlight of your life.  You can’t imagine that anything ever in the whole entire universe can match the feeling of walking out of school on that last day with MONTHS of summer in front of you. 

When you’re a parent, however, you’re feelings towards summer vacation change a little.  I’m definitely looking forward to spending time with my kids and having fun in the sun but there are some things that just aren’t as cool about summertime when you’re the mom. 

You may hear moms and dads this summer saying things like “Nice job jumping that wave!” or “I can’t believe you learned how to swim without floaties!” But know what you won’t hear them say?  You won’t hear them say any of the following:

1.       “Finally! Summer! This means everyone will be home all the time and the house will stay clean for half as long as it used to!”


2.       “Summer means more play dates and more kids around the house…I CANNOT WAIT till my grocery bill skyrockets due to that fact!”


3.       “Putting sunscreen on the kids is the highlight of my day.”


4.       “No…wait…I was wrong.  Pulling the kids away from whatever fun thing they’re doing to REAPPLY sunscreen is the highlight of my day.”


5.       “I just can’t get enough of that chlorine smell in your hair sweetie!”


6.       “YAY! A pile of wet towels!”


7.       “Go ahead and eat that popsicle in the house.  In fact, feel free to sit on the couch or just walk around in general.  I’ll gladly clean up the sticky trail you leave behind!”


8.       ““I looooooove packing up kids so we can travel.  We’re going away next month…which is perfect because it’ll take me about that long to get all their toys and clothes organized. “


9.       “Sand is so easy to get off.”


10.   “I’m really looking forward to the biceps I’ll develop this summer from carrying bags, coolers, sand toys, umbrellas, chairs and screaming kids back and forth from the beach to the car!”


11.   “It’s vacation and everyone knows vacations are about sleeping in.  My kids will totally get that and be on board with the extra snoozing!”


12.   “Know what I love? Taking wet bathing suits up and down so my kids can pee a million times a day.  Love it.”


13.   “Summer camp costs how much? Well that seems completely reasonable!”



14.   “I can’t wait to watch everyone else sit down and relax by the pool while I chase my kids around making sure they don’t die!”


15.   “You’re bored and need me to play with you?  I had NO idea.  Say it again…”

16.  "It's so nice you kids can spend so much time together and not fight at all! I just so enjoy the peace and quiet around here!"


Happy Summer Vacation!


  1. And this is part of the reason I'm not a stay-at-home mom!!

  2. Ughhhhh sunscreen!!