Monday, January 3, 2011

Playgroup vs. Singles Bar

The new session of classes is starting shorty, so naturally its time to write a blog entry about the ridiculous and complicated world of "Mommy Friendships".

See, you have to have different levels of friends.

You have your Friends - the ones who knew you before you had kids, the ones who know that you rock at drunk Pictionary and can't handle your Scorpion Bowls!

Then you have your Couple Friends - the ones you grab a quick bite to eat with every once in a while when you can get a sitter.

But then you have your Mommy Friends - these are the people you meet at playgroups, the ones who are also around on a Wednesday morning and know all the words to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song.

I am lucky enough to have had several friends who had kids at the same time as me, so I don't really need to put myself out there on the "Mommy Market" too much...thank God, cause its a really harsh place. You want people to like your kid, and often its the moms that have to make the first move...these two-year-olds aren't driving themselves to playdates, after all.

In fact, I find more and more that these classes are kind of like the singles bars of the parenthood world...

First of all you need to make sure you are dressed correctly. People judge you. (I know this because I am one of the most judgemental people that I know.) You don't want to be overdressed, cause then it will look like you are trying to hard...but you don't want to be under dressed cause then you aren't trying at all. You need to be just dressed enough so that you tried, but it doesn't look like you did.

Are you following me so far?

OK, once you've got the outfit down you have to come up a way to make a connection with the other parent:

She looked at me. Should I talk to her? Well I'll just give her a little smile first. Maybe she was looking at the mom behind me. No,'s me. I'm so nervous, do I make the first move here?

Usually you end up using the same old lame pick up line, but instead of "So...come here often?" its " old is your son?"

This is your opening line. Now you just have to wait and see what kind of response you get.

If you get a drink thrown in your face..well...then you're probably at the wrong type of playgroup.

If you get a short response with no follow up question about the age of your darling little one, then she probably was looking at the mom behind you after all. Cut your loses and move on...after all there's a cute stay at home Dad over by the baby slide who looks promising...

However, if you get a response, a follow up questions AND a continued dialogue..then YOU, my friend, have hit the jackpot! This may be your Mommy Soul Mate!

But don't get excited and move too fast! You can't invite them over for a play date that afternoon, for example. Then you'll just seem desperate. You need to leave them wanting more...

I know all of this because I am lucky enough to have found my Mommy Soul Mate this way...and I got her digits after only, like, three classes! Beat that!


  1. I would like to have this happen:

    Danielle: Hi! How old is your son?

    Other Mom: Oh, his birthday is in June...or something? Sorry, I'm super hungover. Went through a bottle of red last night once the lil one passed out!

    Danielle: BE MY HETERO LIFE PARTNER!!!!!!

  2. Hahahaha! If another mother said that I would totally leave my husband and move in with her =)

  3. OMG this is so true, I never ever thought of it this way! thanks for the laugh!