A Blogger and a Robot Walk Into a Bar...

Oh my Lord!

Spammy must have known it was Friday and we all needed some outstanding comments to make it through our day because he was ON FIRE this week!

For anyone who is new to my regular Friday post topic the story behind them is I’ve been being ridiculously spammed for the past few weeks.  A normal person would probably heighten their blog’s security and delete all the comments.  But then how would any of us know where to find a great Abigail Adams head shot or figure out how to get our hands on a top notch vaporizer? 

I’m not even going to do a big write up for an intro because this guy stole the show this week.  So let’s get going, shall we?

Comment:  “How much fleshlight is too much for you?”

You know, I’ve never really thought about this before.  But I agree it’s a question that every girl must ask herself at some point in her life.  You have to know your limits.  Me personally, I have a pretty low fleshlight tolerance but I do know some people who like to get their fleshlight on ALL the freaking time!  It’s a crazy world.

Comment:  “Vem, da ti fantje so ljubili gledala, in sedaj lahko prekleta ljubezen mi jih bo moja izdelavo Brooke Skye fleshlight.”

So, I admitted to Mr. Spamtastic that I didn’t really know what a fleshlight was so he explained it to me.  I didn’t understand any of it but I’m assuming this information will be very useful so I’m going to find a translator right away.  Anyone speak Robot?

Comment: “I'm reallyhyped about the Aletta Ocean Primal fleshlight. In the military, it must be all that unfamiliar.”

Wait…you mean to tell me our military does not have access to the Aletta Ocean Primal fleshlight?  That’s the best kind! This is a travesty that MUST be remedied ASAP.  Those brave men and women are protecting our country for God’s sake!  They deserve to be familiar with every type of fleshlight.  I’m going to write a strongly worded letter to our government about this.    

I can tell that this is an issue near and dear to Spammy’s heart because he’s “reallyhyped” about it.  He got so excited he couldn’t even find the space bar.  Now that’s passion, folks.

Comment: “The inside will be soft and the vegetable's fake vagina green. A Fake Vagina never fishes for compliments.”

I need to get a fake vagina.  I’m so sick of my real one being like “I’m so fat today” and I have be all “No, you’re SO not fat!  You’re so skinny!”  It gets old real fast.  A fake vagina would NEVER do that!

If vegetables have access to soft, green fake vaginas I don’t see why I can’t have one.  I’m gonna go talk to that cucumber in my fridge and see where she got hers. 

Comment: “The most important thing to know when you are selling an account is where you are going to sell. WIFI:Als Verbindungsmoglichkeiten ins Internet stehen Ihnen WIFI wireless lan zu Verfugung. The reason for this rather strange feature is that, as described above, apps in the Android Market are listed as they are submitted, without any testing.”

As described above?  Oh, you mean “Als Verbindungsmoglichkeiten ins Internet stehen Ihnen WIFI wireless lan zu Verfugung”?  Got it.  Thank you for clearing that up for me.  Now I know exactly where to sell my account.

Comment: “This is normal and for some other couples it might be the haiku about the frog jumping in the water and re-insert the sleeve into the Pocket Pussy.”

The haiku about the Frog and the Pocket Pussy is my favorite.  I was just telling my boys that story the other day.  They loved it! It’s fantastic bed time reading.

Hold on…we’re talking about the frog and the very small cat that fits in your pocket, right?  I love how the moral of the story is a good friend will jump into the water if your sleeve falls off and then re-insert it for you.

Comment: “Now, the guys were still comparing their pocket pussy's and one of its top lawyers, according to police.”

What do pocket pussy’s and top lawyers have in common?  Sounds like the beginning of an interesting joke. But why are the police involved here?  Comparing your sex toys to your attorney isn’t a crime, is it?

Although I heard pocket pussy’s are banned in 16 states.  Maybe these guys live in one of them.  And their lawyer is constantly saying : “C’mon man! Put down the pocket pussy before I have to involve the authorities.” Some guys just never learn.

Comment: “Sadly, most" thrones" are boring porcelain white and lack the oomph that can only be offered by a lid that features the skull of the Pope.”

 

 

I got this off eBay to spice up my boring old porcelain throne.  The seller assured me that it’s the Pope’s actual skull.  And since it’s from the internet it must be true.  I can’t wait to install it!