Saturday, April 20, 2019

Marry The One Who...

Romance!


Ok, now that I have your attention let’s talk about something important...and it’s not romance.


Well, I mean, it kind of is. But not in the traditional sense. I’m talking about real life, everyday situations in your relationships that may not present themselves as romantic but in reality are super romantic-y.


When we’re little girls movies indoctrinate us to the idea that romantic situations can only arise from grand gestures: The prince fighting a dragon or scaling the walls of the highest tower to rescue his love. But, honestly, those people knew each other for 5 whole seconds before declaring their undying love. I bet after the dragon was slayed and the tower crumbled they had some awkward conversations and discovered that the other person is, like, a terrible conversationalist, or doesn’t like dogs or...even worse...is a Yankees fan.


That’s not true love. Roses, candles, champagne. It’s all fine. But dinners at a fancy restaurants aren’t going to be the norm. Don’t focus on the one who’s going to sweep your off your feet and woo you with elaborate dates and fancy gifts but then never do a load of laundry.


I’m 17 (YIKES!) years into this crazy little thing called love so please allow me to give you a little advice on the subject...


Marry the one who gives you the better cut of meat:


A year ago my husband was making steaks for us and after we had eaten he told me: “While I was preparing them I noticed one piece felt like it might have a little gristle in the middle. So I made sure to take that piece for myself and save the better steak for you.”


Dude. That’s love.


Marry the one you can be gross in front of:


I know a couple of women who swear they have never “passed gas”...to use the polite expression for it... in front of their significant other. Constantly having to worry about this would be a total deal breaker for me. Sometimes life is yucky and your partner should be able to handle it. This one is especially important if you ever plan on becoming pregnant. Pregnancy is super gross.


Marry the one who will go to the post office for you:


OK, this one is specific to me but you’ll get the point, hold on. I hate the post office. I hate the smell and I hate the parking situation and I’m always confused about where to put certain packages and everyone is grumpy there. I do a lot of online shopping so I also do a lot of online returning. When I package up my returns they have to eventually be mailed...at the post office. My husband will always take my packages in for me even though I am perfectly capable of doing so myself. It’s a stupid little mundane thing that he does for me, not out of necessity, but out of love. And I appreciate the heck out of it.


Marry the one who always get two:


Going to the freezer for some ice cream? Get two. Going out to grab a coffee? Get two. Going to adopt a new puppy? Get three or four.


Marry the one who makes a fool out of himself for you:


When we first starting dating my husband and I decided to forgo the traditional Valentine’s Day celebration for a unique dinner of our own. Every year he cooks a four course theme dinner for me complete with skits and costumes. Past themes have included Harry Potter, Presidential Candidates and Celebrity Chefs. This man dressed up as Paula Deen to entertain me. Marry the man who will dress up as Paula Deen to entertain you.


I could go on because there are a million everyday examples showing how the little things matter most in a relationship. Remember, the flowers will die, the candles will burn out...but the friggin post office will always be there!

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