Hi, I have something to say (I know that won’t shock
you). It’s something serious and it’s
something I’ve been stewing over for a long time. But I’m finally going to write it down and
get it out there in the open. Ready? Here it is:
EVERYONE CALM THE FUCK DOWN!
Whew. Glad I got that
off my chest. Now, if we could all just
agree to do that the world would be a way cooler place.
Our society is so incredibly, stupidly obsessed with being
offended. It needs to stop.
Ok, I’m not saying let’s all go out and say the most
insensitive thing we can think of to the first person we see. Because KNOWINGLY saying something rude to
someone is one thing. But inadvertently
saying something that could possibly in some small way EVER be taking
offensively by even ONE person is another thing.
People are being overly conditioned to not offend one another. But maybe the real problem is people are too
easily offended.
And bloggers need to cut the shit with the lists of “10 Things
Not to Say to a….”
Fill in the blank: Single mother, mother of twins, parents
of boys, grandmas who cross stitch, havers of mopeds, people with hernias…
Its’ getting so ridiculous.
Everyone is going to start carrying lists around of what they can and
cannot say to certain groups of people.
And when they go to start conversations they’ll have to pull out their
piece of paper and ask:
Are you married? Not
married? Not ever going to get
married? Do you have kids? One kid?
More than one kid? Do you like cats? Do you own a guinea pig? What are your general feelings about ice
cubes?
Ok, let me look at my list of things not to say to a married,
childless, cat owning, guinea pig hating, ice cube fan…
ENOUGH!
The other thing that bothers me about these “5 Things Not to
Say to a…” articles is that no two people who happen to live on a farm, drive a
stick shift or have gotten a hair cut in the past week have had the same
experience.
For example, I recently read an article called "5 Things Not To Say to a Person who's had a C-section". I had two C-sections and if anyone said any of the things on that list to me I would not care one bit. Because I had a different experience than the woman who wrote it. Because, and look at me when I say this so it really sinks in...EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!
I think we as people generally know what comments are offensive.
Most of us, even me sometimes, can control ourselves enough to not be blatantly
and intentionally rude. And if we’re
ever greeted with a comment that rubs us the wrong way there are two options:
Option 1 – If it’s someone who we are close to and value we
should say “Hey, I didn’t really love that comment, please don’t say it again”.
A friend of mine once said to me “I think it’s cute how stay
at home moms call what they do ‘work’.”
That comment pissed me off. A lot. So I
just told him that I thought his comment was offensive and could he please not
be an idiot like that in the future.
Only I said fuck a lot. And we
are still friends. Dealt with and done.
Option 2 – If it’s someone who we just met on the street we
should walk the hell away and be glad that person isn’t in our life.
When Grant was little he was literally bleach blond. And he has light blue eyes. Once at Target a lady behind me in line asked
me if he was adopted. It was a brainless
comment. But I don’t think the woman
meant to be offensive. I just said
no.
And guess what? I have literally not thought of this story again
until right this second. The exchange didn’t
affect my life at all because her comment didn’t really matter to me...because SHE didn't really matter to me. I did not run right home and compose a rant
about things not to say to mothers with dark hair who have light haired
offspring.
Not everything has to be taken the wrong way. Not everything needs to be made into a big
deal. I don’t think people intend to be
hurtful…I just think people are stupid a lot.
I don’t want to spend my time having to say things like
“Sorry I made an insensitive comment about Panda Bears with neck tattoos. I didn’t know you really loved Panda Bears
with neck tattoos.”
Chill the hell out people!
So absolutely defend yourself, your family and your beliefs
if you feel incredibly threatened or violated.
But otherwise, let it slide. Let
things roll off your back. Mutter “moron”
under your breath as you walk away. But
don’t let it stay with you; don’t assume that every little comment is deliberately
intended to hurt your feelings. Have a
little bit of a thicker skin.
The new standard by which we should all live is “Try not to
be an asshole”. If everyone could just agree to this then I think the world
would be a much happier less asshole-ish place.
Great blog. People might be happier with a little bit thicker skin. Not every comment is meant as a personal affront; we should try harder not to look for things to be offended by.
ReplyDeleteall so true
ReplyDeleteWhat did you say about panda bears with neck tattoos? Huh?? WHAT DID YOU SAY??
ReplyDeleteI read that blog too, about what not to say to a woman who has had a c-section. I've had 2, and nothing that she wrote would've bothered me in the slightest. Go ahead and say all of those things to me.
People just need to lighten up. Or start drinking more. Probably start drinking more...
YES! Let's do the drinking thing!!
Delete
ReplyDeleteHello!
I have a quick question for you, could you email me when you have a chance?
Thanks! –Heather
heather(dot)vonstjames@gmail(dot)com